theorist. (take_a_sadsong) wrote,

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november the first.

There has been a great deal to say but not much desire to say it over the past few weeks. It is hard to think on only the things that are lovely, pure, of good report, when you find that you are terribly sensitive to injustice in all sorts of systems. So instead of sorrow, unfairness, and falsehood I think of this instead: the desire that burns for truth.

I had a pretty good bout with cold symptoms a few weeks over and recovered fairly quickly, during which I attended the Minister's Conference at my church, and spent most of the time trying to just figure everything out. I am nobody but myself, and this is especially true when it comes to my spirituality. It's never looked liked anybody else's from the outside and it's never quite felt like anybody else's from the inside. Everything is of course filtered through the Word to make sure it lines up, but what about all the grey areas? Are there grey areas? I don't even know. I have decided simply this: I love Jesus, and so I keep the commandments (or He keeps them through me), and I don't worry about it. Whether or not I can go a few days without stressing too much over theology remains to be seen. ;)

Halloween was interesting. My church appears to have an extremely antagonistic view of the holiday as nearly unspeakable ("Hallelujah Night!" -- I understand so okay). The word itself is not evil, it's simply a mesh-up of "All Hallow's Eve" which, considering, is pretty religious. Jack-o-Lanterns are derived from the Pagan/Celtic tradition but it's not too, too terrible (and black cats -- the Celts believed the departed dead soul's would return and inhabit black cats). Anyway you guys, I'm a Sonlighter. In second grade, when most kids were having their parents read Narnia to them, my mother was reading Mr. Holzmann's book about Incan, Aztec, and Mayan human sacrifices. Celtic practices do not exactly rock my sheltered world. Youth group had their 70s theme party on Wednesday. I went with my Annie Hall look. No one knew who I was. Okay, I haven't seen Annie Hall, but I am pretty sad that no one knew the Best Picture winner of '77. :( Was telling Mom in the car on the way there that I probably should have gone with the geek look and been Adrian from Rocky. (I have a red beret and everything!)  The party was okay; I don't really know that many people at my youth group anymore, and the music was so loud that we couldn't really talk or do much of anything. I thought my hearing was blown out to a comfortable level by now with the 563462 rock concerts I used to attend but this was really loud. Also, there was a lot of dancing which I didn't realise my church was into (they did this at camp?). Dancing's not wrong; at least not ethically. I think on personal levels it may be depending on how you work out your salvation and what you consider to be fear and trembling. I've just seen too much I suppose.

Last night was peaceful; Dad decided to keep the lights off since no one ever comes anyway. So I watched The X-Files (for the first time ever! Okay, not really, I had tried to watch the first episode but it was really scary so this time I went with the second episode . I think I'm just going to stick with the mytharc episodes since they don't seem to be too demonic), which is brilliant, and Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are adorable. The dialogue is so witty at times and the overall feel of the writing and how it flows is stimulating, and now I understand why my parents watched the series for nearly all nine seasons. Something about it reminds me of my childhood. I remember the nineties fairly well, especially around 1996-1997, because everything seemed pretty distinct (especially the clothes and the hairstyles). I must have snuck out of bed a few times in my childhood and climbed up on the couch and watched The X-Files because it's not just the nineties feel I remember but also I do remember Duchovny because somehow I connect him a great deal with my childhood. I may vaguely remember Anderson but not as distinctively. I really do think I remember going into  to the living room and being told to go back to bed because it was too scary, and I may have caught a glimpse of it. I remember watching some of it last year and recognizing it. It's mysterious to me though and still very spooky. 

Also National Treasure is on and I'm geeking out over Riley's awesomeness and how I would like to be tech savvy, and also over all the dialogue. Yes, I am definitely a geek. :)
Tags: celtic history, geekhood
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